Policing Wichita, Kansas – Duane Michaels

This is Things Police See, firsthand accounts with your host Steve Gold.Welcome to the podcast that interviews act and retired police officers about their most intense, bizarre, and sometimes humorous moments on the job.It is I, Old Gingerface, with you as always. Thank you for being here, guys. Thank you for finding the show. Thankyou for all the uh downloading of the back catalog. I truly appreciate that.Um this show is brought to you by the Patreon. The uh got no sponsor rightnow, so we’re going with the Patreon. Uh you can get there through the link in the show notes. There’s a bunch ofdifferent levels. Basically, if you love the show and you’ve really appreciated all the free content and you want toshow me some love monetarily, which I appreciate, you can do that through the link. There’s a bunch of differentlevels, but if you pick the sergeant level or above, you will be getting a shout out on the show. Uh, I like doingthem. It’s a lot of fun, and I really appreciate the support. The Patreon really um I don’t know if you if youever had a podcast or if you ever had like a long running project that you did that was like a hobby, but also like youreally like doing it. Well, it’s been like six years, and there are ups anddowns. Like, there are times when I’m excited. I feel like I have the energy to do it and I want to I want to do theshow. And there’s other times where it’s like it really is a grind. Like I worked like a 70 hour week. I have to schedulepeople. I have to record. I have to edit so it sounds good. Adjust all the levels. Now I’m doing video and uh it itsometimes you feel like you don’t want to do it. The problem is if you stop doing it, if you miss one, then it’s easier to miss the next one. And thenthere’s a huge gap, which has happened to to me a few times. But the Patreon support um along with the emails andmessages you guys send me is 100% thethe combo of those two is what keeps me going. So um the fact that you would appreciate the show enough, you’dappreciate the men and women of law enforce that come on here and tell their stories and you would support by um bydonating uh to the production and all the subscriptions I have to keep itgoing. and there’s some leftover for me to help pay my bills for overtime I didn’t do because I’m doing the show. Ican’t tell you how much I appreciate that and it truly does motivate me. So, I’ll stop talking about it, but uh Ithank you and I love you for that. Uh today’s show, very excited to have him.He did 16 years at Witchah Police Department. He did patrol financial crimes. He was in the gang unit at onepoint and also um damn brotherI should have been a doctor. I can’t read it. He did. Oh, hostage negotiation. That’s what he did. Also, he’s author of the new book Cop, Inc.,also an actor. He’s recently been in the uh TV show 1923. He’s been in a bunch ofother movies. Got a bunch of movies in theaters right now and a military vet. Without further ado, let me bring on thegreat Dwayne Michaels. Dwayne, hey, what’s up, man? D Wayne, good to see you, my man. Thanksfor coming on. Hey, thank you for having me, man. I appreciate it. Yeah, it’s really impressive, dude. 1923and then you have uh movies um in the in the theater right now. Are you haveWe do. We have a bunch of movies in the film festivals right now. Um there’s a moviecalled Anywhere uh that’s out. We got another movie with um with uh Michael J.White uh the guy that played Spawn. I get to get my butt kicked by him in another movie. He plays a veteran. Umkind of one of those old Steven Seagal type movies where the comeback movie type thing. So, you’ll get to see that.I can’t really talk more much about that. I was in a movie with Green Day, uh, the band that that’s coming out inthe actually it’s in Europe right now in the theaters and it should be coming out and, uh, I’m not sure what they’re ifthey’re going to name it the same thing, so I can’t really give the name out, but um, yeah, I’ve been doing a little bit of acting here and there. So,very cool, dude. I did, um, I have auditioned two times in my life just byhappen stance. Got invited because of people I knew or whatever. It is reallyhard, dude. I get like like we were talking before we started recording. I did stand up for five or six years and that was really really humiliating andhard to get used to talking. But the um I found that the auditioning was evenmore nerve-wracking and I could not I never took an iPhone class in my life. So, just to defend myself, but whenthere’s a casting director in a big camera and they’re like, “Read the Ithink they’re called are they called shorts or what do they call it when they give you the thewhen they give you the what now?” They give you the lines you’re going to read. Are they called shorts?Uh script. No, not the script. It’s um it’s something else. They emailed it to me and it it’s the sides.Oh, the sides. My bad. My bad. Yeah, sides. Dude, I I only had like four lines and Iwas number one so nervous. I couldn’t even like my mouth was tight. Like I wastotally having like a fear response. I couldn’t act. I’m like, “This is really freaking hard.”Yeah. One of the hard parts is memorizing all the lines. Not It’s probably my least favorite. Um when Iget a lot of lines, it’s I do nothing but carry no like note cards around all day long and just, youknow, it’s becomes my life. Yeah. Uh, so it pretty it could be pretty string. It was trying to rememberall those lines. Yeah. I hear actors on podcast talk and like a lot of them they’ve been doing it for a long time, but they’ll be like,”Yeah, I look it over in the trailer a few times for the scene and then it’s like really?”Yeah. I’ve got a buddy of mine that he was on a couple soap opers back in the day and he says they have these lockersand every Monday morning they would have their script and they’d have basicallyfor the week and and they would be memorizing that stuff. I have I don’t know how they do it. It’s way way toomuch to memorize. Yeah, dude. And then not only you got to remember to say it, you have to be a character. Like you can’t just you can’tjust spin all dude. Yeah. So my hats off to you, brother. That That’s um That’s crazy. And thebook looks really fun, too. Like here’s a uh we’ll go back to it later, but the um the cover looks really fun.Yeah, I wanted to uh engage the uh the readers right away with the with the picture on the on the book, you know,them see it can be a little fun and that there’s going to be a lot of little different elements there. So,yeah. Absolutely. I dig it. So, you did 16 Years Witchah um large policedepartment. I’m sure you saw a ton. Can you can you recall the first hot call you went to? The first call that likereally got your blood going? Uh hot call. Yeah, I had one that was really funny. Um I was still pretty new.Um I was driving around, just got to work drinking my free coffee from the, you know, from the quick trip and um Igot a call of a suspect climbing through cars in a big parking lot and I had justrealized that I was a block away. And so, you know, my backup was probably whoknows how long he was away. So, I’m like, I can take this guy. He’s crawling around the vehicles. I I kind of curvearound to try to sneak up on him. I get out of the car. I’m sneaking up on the car. He sees me. And now the chase ison. He’s He’s running with with a bag full of stuff he stole from the vehicles.And hindsight being 2020, I should have got back in my car, but you know, youget that adrenaline going and now I’m chasing this guy on foot. We’re running across an eight line highway. We’rerunning across things. We get into this apartment complex and I’m running faster than I shouldprobably run. I’m running faster than than I should possibly My shoes aren’t even used to this speed here. Yeah. andI uh am in an apartment complex and I slip on the grass and my go flying forward and my leftknee hits a cement barrier. One of those cement barriers that you used to park.Yeah. And later I would find out that I I cracked my kneecap.And so without even thinking about it, I jump back up. I’m chasing after thisguy. I tackle him. I finally get him. Um my my partners get there and thisfemale officer is a friend of mine. She comes up to me and she sees me on the ground and she goes, “Oh my god,from your complete back and into your shirt and everything, you’re covered in dog shit.”I had slipped on a big old Great Dane poop or something. And when I slipped,it wasn’t the grass, it was dog poop. And I literally was covered in dog crap.And and then of course I had to go to the hospital for my kneecap. So when I get there, I take my shirt off, the t-shirt underneath is covered in crap.So yeah, that was that’s probably one of the weirdest hot calls. I mean, I’ve had a lot lot of them. And that that’s one Icould think of. Maybe humorous because most of my stories are pretty gruesome. So I thought I’d come up with something funny.Oh, that’s disgusting, dude. I I have a dog. My big dog. I ate the smell of dogcrap. It makes me gag, dude. I was covered. I was literally covered. It wasn’t It was like just thismonster. Probably a monster, you know. So, the the uh what I take from thestory is please pick up your dog crap when you take your dog out for for a walk, especially in an apartmentcomplex. Yeah, absolutely. That is so gracious. I stepped on one the other day and it waslike it had that crust on it and then it was like an odor release. I stepped on it and was like I’m like whatwhat is that smell? It’s almost you you’re German shepherd.So he’s pretty large and um you almost just want to throw your shoes away. You know it’s like I don’t want to clean this.No thank you. Especially your boots. They got that gets all in the crevices of the boots and hYeah. Or it’s even worse when you do it and then you walk through your house and you don’t realize it and it leaves.Oh yeah. Oh dude. You smell it. You’re like where’s that coming from? Where’s that smell comingfrom? You’re checking all your shoes, you know. So, dude, you were you were pretty new when you cracked your kneecap. Thatsucks. Yeah, I had to wear one of those stupid boots u for on my left knee for a while.They call it uh a badge on the floor. Whenever you’re not you’re they call it bof. So, whenever you’re injured and youwork the front desk, you’re a badge on the floor. So, I worked both probably for for a couple months before I wasback on the streets. Did they make you guys do dispatch? Were you like a station officer like took walk-in reports and stuff?No, the dispatch, they had a county dispatch that that handled troop or uhuh county, city, EMS, fire, everything. Um we have four bureaus. So I was in theWest Bureau and it’s uh it’s a pretty large department. Okay. So you were just doing like clerical work basically.Yeah, I do. People come walking into the stations and make, you know, someone stole my my homework type stuff, youknow, and or uh you know, my neighbor’s yelling at me type stuff. And so we just take those records.Yeah. Just what you signed up for. Just what you want to do. Yeah. It sucks. Yeah. Absolutely. Brother, can you tellus about the strangest or most bizarre thing you dealt with? Oh, this one is kind of gruesome.It’s cool. I would I would definitely tell anybody that didn’t like gruesome not to listen to the story, but I was uhI was in FTO, excuse me. And um you know, when you’re an FTO, your FTO volunteers you foreverything crazy that you can get, you know. Yeah. And we had a a little backstory. U thisgentleman, we’ll call him Frank, and uh Frank uh was out of work. Uh hisgirlfriend was getting on him because he didn’t have a job. They just had a two-year-old child. and uh she basicallykicked him out uh or she moved out of the house and said, “If you don’t get a job, we’re done.” type thing. So, hemoved in with his his buddy uh he was a just happened to be a BMX writer and he was out of town doing some kind of BMXthing. Um real try to keep this story real short here. He he basically he got a new job. He was excited about it. Hisbuddy got him the job. They went out that night, had a good time, celebrated his new job, and his new new boss’s wifewas hitting on him all night long. So, he got fired that night. He wascelebrating his new job. He got fired the same night and uh got drunk anddecided to try to start fights with everybody at the bar. So they ended up getting him a ride home and he went homeand unfortunately decided that his life was done and he took his life with ashotgun to the face and um of course they find him the nextday and to check on him and I get called you know they’re like let’s go to that.Yeah, of course. So, we get there and I walk up and I amthe first one to go in. And as I’m going in, I’m going down into the living room and to the right there’s a hallway. Inthe hallway, there’s a bunch of white rocks all over the floor. Like, I don’t know if he had a plan or what it was,but then I went into the room and there he was. He he had totally taken all his clothes off and as you know, that’s avery common thing. And um took the shotgun. He was about 6′ three and hetook that gun and he blew his face off and he didn’t have anything left. I had never seen anything like that.Yeah. Uh we had I had re and then when CSI came I was helping him with the photolog and she was picking up the rocks in the hallway and it turned out the rockswere his teeth. That’s brutal. How did you How did you h like for thefirst time seeing some like something like that? Did you have any kind of physiological response? Did you feel sick? Did you turn white? Like anythinglike that? You know, it looked like something you’d see out of a horror flick. It didn’tlook real. So, I think maybe my mind kind of made it not real. Yeah.I mean, I’m looking at this guy. He doesn’t have much of a face left, you know, and he’s still holding on to thegun. Um, it was pretty surreal. It was It was something. It was something you don’tsee. And for the first time I’d seen something like that, it was pretty traumatic. Um, I think I handled itpretty well. I was just I think I was more in shock than anything, but I was trying to be professional at the same time. So, it was it was difficult. Itwas pretty difficult. Yeah. I almost I kind of had a very similar reaction to what you just said. the first like I went to the firstreally horrible thing I saw was a bad car wreck single car crash and the guy’s like arm was broken the bone wassticking out like a movie you know and then he had a such a big laceration over his eyebrows that the skin was hangingdown and bleeding like into his eyes and his mouth and it it l the first thing I thought of was it looks like ananimatronic gore puppet puppet cuz he was like he was like trying to talk and moving his uh his bone around and I waslike it was just was like oh this looks fake. It looks like it’s weird. You feel likealmost like you’re outside the bubble like someone else is experiencing it. You’re like, is this this is crazy.Yeah. And you almost like want someone to be there with you that you know like I want you to see me see this so youknow that I see this, right? I got like I No one sees that stuff, you know?Yeah. I got for Thank goodness. This was in the middle of a highway median and we were alone together for maybe a minuteand then like an offduty paramedic ran down into the woods with this kit gloves on already and I was like, “Thank you,sir.” Because I was trying to figure out. You got it. You got it. Yeah. What do you do when the bone is sticking way out again? You put a justput a towel over it. We’ll wait for the good guys to come. That’s funny. Yeah. Put it back. Put itback. Yeah. Why’ you do that? It’s bad. Um, yeah, man. That’s a bad one. ThatThat’s That’s horrible. I I Man, that that guy who fired him. That I wonder hemust think about that. I think the woman that was flirting with him, I think she was flirting with himand they were drunk, you know, alcohol and I think she should feel more bad about it if anything.Yeah. I always I was just talking about this with a buddy of mine. Um there there’s nothing more fun like in thecorporate world or even like the police world going to a party where everybody’snot in their role and it’s like the company’s paying for the drinks or likeyou know there’s you’re you’re at like a destination or whatever. It it’s simultaneously so fun and also sodangerous. Yeah. For your career. Yeah. Absolutely. because I’ve seen copsdo things before that like in front of like lieutenants and hire and been likethey’re not going to forget that. And also um you know I went to a I gotinvited down to San Diego once. My buddy’s down there. He’s um he’s a like a full partner in equity firm. So he’she’s like come on down to take the train down to San Diego when I was living in California. They went down there and they they shut down a city block in inthe um gaslight district of San Diego for these companies to like team building and and whatever.And um there’s video games and there was this girl that was a wicked wicked [ __ ]and she was wicked rude to us and my buddy called it out and he had a good point. He’s like that right there. Hegoes, “That’s the problem with these things. She doesn’t have any idea who I am or who you are.” Right.She was just a total [ __ ] to us. What if we were the kind of people that were like, “I’m going to find out her position, where she works, see if wehave a deal with that company if we manage their funds, and get her fired.” Because that’s what people do.It’s It’s It can be bad, man. You got to watch it, guys. When you’re out there getting hammered with your bosses, maybejust don’t do it or or just be careful. Don’t do it. Yeah. Yeah. Booze is booze is tough. Um,Dwayne, can you tell us about your um, most intense or terrifying call you wenton? And I know you have a lot of stories for Witchah, so feel free to share a few or whatever. Yeah, I was thinking about this one. Um,probably the most intense one was we had a we had lost a deputyand I was working that day. That’s right. Uh, we had uh I was pulling over a car because they didn’t have a license plateon it. Uh, turns out he was a dealer and he forgot to put the dealer plate on.And so I’m pulling him over on the freeway. Meanwhile, uh, there was a gentleman, I won’t givehis name, decided he was going to shoot a cop that day. He he called a false call in, saidsomeone’s broke his car, broke into his car. And, you know, that’s a onepersoncall. And so he went to his backyard. He lived out in the field.a cornfield. There was a cornfield out there and he had a little shack out there, but he laid down that cornfieldand he waited for that deputy to show up. And uh when the deputy got there, no oneanswered the front door. So the deputy, you know, called dispatch say, “Hey, where’s where’s the calling party?” “Oh,they said they’ll meet you in the backyard.” As he’s walking the backyard, the thisgentleman decides to shoot at the officer. He shoots the officer. The officer returns fire or the deputy,I’m sorry. And he’s screaming over the radio. I’m I’m on the freeway giving a guy withno license plate a ticket and everybody’s everybody can hear it. So, what do I do? Here’s your driver’slicense. Today’s your lucky day. I’m in the car. I’m on my way. Yeah. Um this everybody and their mother is ontheir way. Troopers, uh sheriff, uh police, you know how it goes.Yeah. And uh that call came out of officer down.As I’m on the freeway going toward the I’m about 15 minutes away going Mach Five. As I’m going down the freeway, theambulance actually got there in time. He crawled and officers got there were ableto drag his body uh away from the guy and get him to the hospital. And as I’mon my way to the call, the ambulance goes the opposite way with police escort.Um, we surround the area. He runs into the cornfield.We surround the area. The local Air Force uh post brings a Humvey for us touse. Wow. And our SWAT team gets on that Humveyand they’re going right dead center in the middle of that cornfield trying to find this guy. We have a helicopterabove and we’ve got this perimeter completely surrounded.It probably about 2 hours. After 2 hours, he decides he’s done. He jumps upout of the cornfield and starts shooting at our helicopter. Wow.And um without getting too much detail, let’s just say he had he was surroundedby a lot of people, a lot of officers, and he pretty much he didn’t make it after that. But that was probably themost intense. Um the deputy went into surgery. He came out successful.Nice. His family was happy. They got to see him and things. And then u he started tohave problems again. They put him back into surgery and he unfortunately didn’t make it.Oh my god. And uh my heart goes out to the Zimmerman family.Yeah, absolutely. Deputy Zimmerman. God bless him. Um yeah, good guy,dude. What did he What was it? A rifle he shot him with? Like a high-powered rifle? Yeah, he shot him with a rifle. Had ascope. He was waiting. He was laying in the in the cornfields waiting for him and and got a good got a couple shots onhim. That’s so weird. Like it sounds like he was a property owner. Like what did whatwas the guy’s backstory? Was he um did he PTSD? Watch the news. I’m going to be on TV uhon Monday or whatever day it was. He planned it out and um the day afterthe incident happened, his brother was arrested because his brother called 911and said he was going to kill an officer. So obviously there’s some issues with police in that family.Yeah. Yeah, I’d say so. Were they did they have big criminal histories? Did you know? Did you get to know hisbackground a little bit? Yeah. Yeah. The guy that was the guy that shot the deputy, he had quite thecriminal history. I’m sure you can look it up. Um, Deputy Zimmerman,uh, sheriff deputy. He’s amazing guy. Young wife, kid, just sat.Yeah, those booby trap ones are freaking awful. I remember recently someone did that to firefighters. It was like, dude,these guy, how cowardly. They’re not even armed. They’re 100% just there to help. No chance they’re going to arrestyou. It’s like I mean the cop thing is doing it to us is equally as terrible, but I mean um Yeah, man. It’s how awful,brother. Yeah, I would be totally have my guard down if I went to a place with a with a field and all that. It’s notlike you’re in the ghetto or something, you know? Your head’s not on a swivel. You’re like, “Let me meet this guy and see if I can help him out.”Yeah. I mean, um one person call. Oh, we take those calls every day. You know,someone broke into my vehicle. somebody stole something out of my house, you know, a burglary call, you know, thoseif they’re not in progress, we send one or sometimes just send one person, you know.Yeah. Yeah. It’s hard. It’s it’s almost impossible not to be complacent with that stuff cuz I remember once there wasone where um they they pulled a bunch of brush into a road and um so like the cophad to get out like they knew he was on his way home or whatever and they he had to get out and and clear the brush andthey shot him. And like the day after that happened, I’m on patrol. There wasno wind. Like there’s no storm. It’s not raining. And there’s a like a tree, you know, like a smaller tree like acrossthe road like that. And I’m like, this is freaking eerie. So like, you know,you get that weird feeling. You’re kind of like, you know, totally. I put the, you know, I put thethe rear blue lights on for traffic so I can drag it and that makes it even worse because you now you really can’t seebecause the blue lights are bang bang bang just robbing your night vision. So I’m like like you said I’m like hunchedover dragging it out of the road. Of course it was fine but made me think it’s it’s scary. I mean, especiallynowadays, you know, there’s a lot of hatred toward cops and a lot of it’s just because people don’t know any goodcops where, you know, they haven’t really tried to get to know a cop or anything like that. They just believewhat they hear, you know. Yeah. I’ve heard that from people before, too, with um with kids that areyoung, like in their 20s, and how they have this real they came up with the BLM garbage and all that, and they’re Yeah.Yeah, I’ve had a parent tell me on a call um with a problem child like don’ttake it personally and like we don’t don’t worry about it. But he’s like cuz she was like calling us pigs and everything else and he’s like he’s likeshe 100% just watches the news and believes he’s like she believes everything they tell her.I’m like great. Yeah, that’s happening.Sucks. Especially when you have family members that have a bad um interactionwith a cop or something like that and they’re calling you up, you know, was this cop supposed to do this? Was thiscop supposed to do that? And some of the stuff you would do, right? And and you’re like, you don’t want totell them the cop did the right thing. Um they always leave little details out.It’s always like they’re the victim and they leave out a bunch of details. I’m like, wait, wait, what happened? What what exactly did you say to him when hepulled you over? Yeah. Yeah. He asked for my ID for no reason.It’s no reason. Yeah. I fielded a ton of those calls. Absolutely. Um Dwayne, do you have anyother uh any other stories that stick out to you from uh good old Witchah inthe intense category? Uh man, I could do it all day long. Uhto be honest with you, I had a call. I had a call. There was a littlebackstory on this one. this gentleman, he was working uh in for the city. Let’sjust say that he worked for the city and he was having an affair with a woman whouh they had been together for 15 years and his wife had no ideaand they decide he decided he was going to retire from the city. he was done with it and he decided that he was goingto end his life. And so he called 911 and said, “I’m going to end my life andthis is why because I can’t be with a woman that I love or whatever the reason was.”And so they sent me over to his place for a welfare check and me and my buddy and I get there andI’m waiting for my partner to arrive. I’m standing in the driveway. There’s no car in the driveway and I hear a loudgunshot. And so I rushed into the house. I rushedinto the I didn’t find anybody. I I ran into the garage and there he was. He hadjust shot himself in the head. And he was still alive.Oh. And I was having I must have had a 10-minute conversation with this guy. uhme doing all the talking of course and he was just staring at me the whole time with with the blood oozing out of hisbrains and and and other stuff coming out of his side of his head and hestayed alive for about 10 minutes and I got I I talked to him for about 10 minutes and then by the time the EMS gotthere he was pretty much gone but I literally got there was smoke still coming out of the hole. I mean itwas that fresh. Wow. That’s that’s eerie. Did was he able to articulate anything to you?No. He could he was staring at me with his eyes. He could see. He was listening, but he wasn’t really able torespond. And he was in the car. He was in his car in his driver’s seat. And itwas just stuff was everywhere. You know, the splatter was everywhere. And I just I was so amazed that he was still alive.I couldn’t believe it. I was like, “This guy’s still breathing,you know, and half of his half of his head was gone, you know, but I don’tknow how much he could really understand what I was saying, but I sat there and talked to him for until EMS got there.”And so I could say I had talked to a person that was dying, which was pretty wild. That is wild, man. That is bizarre. Whatwere you just like encouraging them like, “Hey, help’s on the way or I’ve been there. You’re going to be fine. You know, we’ll patch that holeup. You know, you know, boy, that’s cop cop humor. So, you’re like, you just told him a wholebunch of lies to try to ease it for him. Oh, yeah. You got to wonder if that’s sitting there thinking if he was able to think aclear thought like, man, this was a mistake, you know. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He must have been.He got smoke coming out still, you know. Rarely do we get to see people that justdo it, you know. Yeah. Yeah, it is funny. Like the people I’ve seen in um like the people thatactually do it are it’s so much different than like because we all you all have like wherever your policedepartment is, you have those people who you’re like you’re every month or two you’re going over there for a mentalhealth crisis and they’re threatening it or they do like an attempt but it’s really not, you know, they could figureit out. They could really do it like if they they really wanted to. It’s more of like cry for help. Um, yeah.And it goes on for years. And then you have the guy that just um and it’s usually a dude justsomething happens or he’s been quietly thinking about it and they come home and they find like the gun safe open andhe’s nowhere to be found and that’s it. Yeah. I mean, and it’s that’s even more shocking for the family because it’slike what the what the hell? But they just go and do it. They find a spot and that’s it’susually it’s usually not expected those people. Yeah. Yeah. It’s really weird. Yeah, like we there was one recently in myarea and I looked at the back history of the address and all that. Not a singlemental health call, nothing. It was It’s really really crazy. But man, that isthat that’s kind of haunting, brother. I would have thought about that for a while talking to that guy when he was on his way out. Oh, yeah.Oh, yeah. I still think about it, man. I I don’t think it like we we kindof harp on it and there’s like a big movement now to put put to put light on it, but there you really can’t stress enough how effed up that is for a humanbeing to deal with and what there’s a lot more detail in that story with his girlfriend and it’s in thebook. The story is in the book, but the um girlfriend shows up and the wife shows up at the same time.Whoa. Yeah, I had to deal with that, too. And the rookie, here’s a funny story. Uh therookie went inside the house and was told to watch, you know, the crime scene and he pushedthe garage button. Whoops.Why did he do that by mistake? Rookie.And the garage I’m watching the garage slowly go up and the girlfriend and the wife are right outside the garageand I’m like panicking trying to get that garage shut, you know? Oh my gosh,that’s brutal. You’re like, “This can’t get any worse.” Wait a second.No, the garage was funny because, you know, the rookies, they don’t know. They panic. They don’t know what to do. He’sI think someone said, you know, open that door or something and he probably, you know, pushed that button.Yeah. So, I don’t remember what happened. You have to read the book to see what happened, but it was pretty funny. Yeah, man. That that is absolutely nuts.Do you have any heartwarming stories? Anything that warmed the cockals of yourheart? Yeah, of course. Uh I had uh you know, as an officer, we’re always moonlightingall the time. So, I was moonlighting at a roller skating rink on a weekend for kids and um there was a little girlthere who had uh was crying about her shoes. And so, of course, I go overthere. What’s wrong with your shoes? They’re my brother’s shoes, the only shoes that I have. and they’re toosmall. So, you know, you can’t let that go being afather, you know. So, I went home and and talked to my lady at the time and wetalked to the local news. We talked to the lo uh we talked to all kinds of donation places. Her father was alsothey were living with with his mother. So, grandma was was supporting them anddad didn’t have a job. They didn’t have a car. things were looking pretty pretty prettybad for him. School was coming up. It was the end of summer. And so, longstory short, we get all these organizations together. They get the girl, we’re talking four or five boxesload of clothes, shoes. Um, they made they did a story on the news. Um, theyput it in the newspaper. They got the guy a job. They got him a car.And it was just to be able to do that for somebody was just incredible to meto be able to change someone’s life. How many times have we been in in a hole andand no one helps you? And I solved a lot of their problems in about, you know, ina day. And all I was trying to do was just get this poor girl some shoes,you know, but all these organizations were I told them what happened and they were so generous, you know. I don’tthink she could have wore all the clothes that she got to be honest with you. So that’s beautiful, man.Yeah, it was something. And you could you could probably look it up online. Uh girl or police officer helps girl withshoes or something like that. Um and I’m curious how she’s doing. I actuallyhaven’t seen her since it’s been it’s been a long time. She’s probably in highschool now. That’s awesome, man. I would I think her name was Kaye. Andso, Kaylee, if you hear this, which I doubt, um, you know, hope you’re doing good.I hope, who knows? She might be a fan of law enforcement. We get about 25,000 uh,downloads a month. So, maybe she’s one of them. Yeah. And, and, you know, I think that’s that that’s to me as a police officer,that was the most important thing to show the public that, you know, we’re not just there to throw cuffs on you,that we can actually help you. you know, maybe me doing that helped herand other people like police officers, you know, so, you know, maybe she’ll stick up for us one day when someonesays something bad about us. Yeah, absolutely, man. Yeah. Yeah, a buddy of mine used to work for um aplace uh the West Coast and they actually for things like that, they actually developed a program where theyhad a um debit card linked to a link to a bank account and they could ask the sergeant or lieutenant for authorizationand buy buy a family hotel room or buy some clothes or or whatever. I was like,man, talk about cutting out the middle, man. That’s awesome. Have like a fund you can use for people. That’scrazy. Yeah, it was nice to be able to help and uh I recommend that to every officer.Try to, you know, be helpful. Find people that need stuff in your in your beat or whatever you call it, your bureau, your beat, your patrol, and uhget to know these people and try to try to help them out. Yeah, absolutely, man. Love it. Um Ikind of off topic, but how did you get into acting? How what what did that looklike? Well, when I retired, uh you know, you got to find something to do with yourlife and I was doing standup comedy like I like you were uh on the side.Yeah. And my buddy in California happens to be a director and he told me he’s like,”Dude, you’d be so good at this. You should try it.” And so, um I went ahead and applied fora movie, believe it or not. And I got the role and I also got to be the armorfor the for the uh shoot because I have weapons experience being in the military. Nice. And uh so it it was a whole month shoot.I was gone for a whole month in Missouri in Perryville, Missouri. And we shot amovie called Promised Land. And that’s it’s going to be a TV show and it should be it should be coming out soon. It’s aNetflix uh probably. And I play the bad guy Bert. So, I play the hitman for acongressman. So, dude, you you got like a good role right off the bat. Yeah, it was really cool. Not a wholelot of lines. Um, I probably got about five scenes where I’m actually talking, but I do a lot of physical, a lot ofgrabbing and wrestling and things. So, it was pretty cool. Had a good time, dude. So, you must be good at actingthen. Just like innately, you just must be good at it. Uh, you know, doing standup comedy and just being a goofball in general. I’vealways kind of had that personality, so it seemed to it fit me pretty well. Yeah, that’s awesome, man. Good for you.Thank you. Appreciate it. Snowballed after that. So, yeah, once you get get one in the bank, it’s like, all right, this guy’s legit.We could use him. Yeah, I took some acting classes after that and I just taking the acting classes, I got to meet a lot of actorsand it’s all about networking. It’s all about networking. Yeah, I get actorsprobably get a kick out of you too where they’re like they didn’t you didn’t go to Giuliard or like act in like localtheater and come up that way. You’re like, “No, I was a cop and in the military and here I am.”Yeah. You know, that’s one of the reasons why I completed my book was every time someone talks to me, they’re always saying, “What’s the craziestthing ever happened to you?” or “What’s the grossest thing?” or you know, you know that everybody always asks that.So, um, most officers just tell the story, but I thought, “You know what? I’m tired of telling these same storiesall the time over and over again and not being able to tell the details. So, Iwanted to get really into the stories. So, I went ahead and started writing and before you know it, oh, Jed’s amillionaire and I got a book. Love it, brother. It’s so cool. Um,how did uh how come you you went out injured, right? Was it injured on duty? Yeah, I was uh uh I broke my back infive places. Uh, I went down a flight of stairs backwards, 12 steps backwards, chasing after a suspect and he went aswell. Oh, like the attack sleigh ride, but you were the sleigh. Totally. And knocked the wind out of me.Um, you know, one of those things. Um, I was on about like I was telling you,Bof. We did B for a while. I actually got promoted uh to financial crimes. I did some financial crimes detectivestuff. I was still a police officer, but I got assigned to the the uh unit and um thatway I could be on a desk and not have to worry about carrying all the gear and things like that. So, and I went ahead and retired after that.Dude, that financial crimes was that the worst paperwork like this highand penalties are like probation. Dude, I I’ve only I work at a prettysmall agency, so we kind of have to scoop up everything we can. We can ask, you know, the state for help, butthey’re really busy. So, like anything like that, like someone stole 25 grand from their grandma, whatever, and it waselectronic. Usually, we we try to do it, but I’m, you know, I’m a patrol guy, so I’m like, I’m not a detective, so I’vehad a few like that. And, brother, I want to jab my eyes out with the fork, like writing warrants for documents andum getting uh footage from the bank and like it just was like, it just was notfun at all. Like I hated it. Yeah. And then you do all that work and you go present it to the districtattorney and then they say, “Well, let’s just give them probation and you just spent the whole week doing all these interviews and and paperwork and typingup reports for for probation.” So, it was frustrating. Yeah. Weird stuff comes up that younever imagine if you’re not like a court officer or a detective. like they’re during one of them I had it was like thethe the clerk who would approve the warrant was hellbent on you don’t need awarrant you need just have the DA’s off just we’ll just do a administrative subpoena the DA’s office was likeabsolutely not we need a warrant so they were fighting and meanwhile I’m justtrying to help the victim out and get get some responsibility for this money that’s been taken you know rightand I I have to imagine the clerk was right cuz they’re like, you know, they’re the magistrate. So, in the end,it it all ended up working out. But they had me go to a different court out of jurisdiction. I’m like, like the DA waslike, we’ll go to this court. I’m like, now I’m shopping around. I’m like, well, how that’s going to look? I’m the judge is going to ask me, did you bring this,you know, why is it clicked on it? It was denied. And then I have to The whole thing was just like way over my paygrade. I’m like, I’m not. In the end though, I I’m I know I’m bitching about it, but in the end,we got some justice and the family I was helping is the sweetest family and Iwould do it all over again for them. But the process of doing it and I think part of it was to just not it’s not when it’snot your thing, everything is learning. So it, you know, I had to like call Ihad at the beginning beginning of it, I I talked to the DA I was working with and I’m like, “Can you get me a warrantthat’s similar to this that’s been written before because Yeah, because that’s it’s pretty wordy.”Oh, the language in it I never would have come up with about like they were talking about not only the bank, butwhere the bank’s headquarters is in Maryland that has to be named. Like it the whole thing was like I never wouldhave been able to do this on my own. Yeah. And you have to put every transaction in there. what time wherethey were at. It gets really and it’s all felony. But it’s funny because it’sso it’s felony, but yet they’re like the least penalty. You know, it’s like almost nothing. Soyeah, it’s worth it’s worth the risk if you’re a criminal. Yeah. You were like, you know what? My back is really hurting now. I’m gonnahave to get there. Yeah, that’s about right.Yeah. Well, I hope they took care of you anyways and they they They did. They They took care of me. It was I did thatand then I went ahead and got the retirement. We’re vested at 10 years, so I went ahead and and took the the earlyretirement. Uh I couldn’t make it four more years. So Oh, good. Yeah, that’s good, man. Youcan’t you can’t do it at the price of your body, you know. No, no, no. And I do stunt work now.Wow. Yeah. I just got I get beat up by Michael J. White from the guy that playsSpawn. I got beat up by him in a movie so recently. So my body’s good. You canask Michael. That’s awesome, man. I love it. So cool. Um really popular question on the show.Um advice to new recruits, people thinking about doing it, people getting into it, and believe it or not, theyhear you guys tell your stories. And I get emails people actually decide to bepolice officers because they hear your your fun adventures, you know, or Yeah.your stories. Well, I mean advice,uh, I have adi two different advices. One would be for people that want to be a police officer and then maybe ones that are already police officers. So, ifyou’re already a police officer, I could sit here and talk all day about weapon retention and, you know, qualifying withyour weapon. Make sure you keep qualifying with your weapon. We have a lot of problems with people. They wait till qualificationand then they they shoot, never shoot again. You know, it’s very important tobe proficient with your equipment and you never know what’s going to happen. So, I would definitely tell officerstraining is keep training, you know, with your weapon, with with how to grab people, how to talk to people,everything. Train, train, train. You can never have enough training. Um, my advice to people that want to be apolice officer, uh, go to go to college, get educated, um, take some courses, do some ridealongs with police officers. If you do ride alongs, I’ve had people do ride alongs and then after the ride along’sover, they’re like, “I can’t do this.” Yeah. They don’t want to do it. Can’t do it. You know, and so if youthink you want to be a police officer, you should be doing some ride alongs for sure. No doubt about it. And, you know, talk to your uh police officers in yourbeat or your patrol area, whatever you call it. Um get to know them and see ifit’s some something you’d like to do and they they can answer all the questions for you, especially for that department.So that would be my advice. Yeah, great advice, brother. Words of wisdom.Tell us about the book a little bit more. Um, where can people grab it? Uh, you can go on Amazon. The best wayto find it is to type in my name on the search in Amazon. Type in DwayneMichaels and it’s the first thing that pops up. Uh, you can’t miss this book, the color the with the cartoony in thefront. And so that’s one of the reasons I did it. It was very catchy with the eye. Um, it’s going to be a I think it’s82 stories or at least 82 stories in there of just the craziest, funniest,scariest, grossest things you’ve ever heard in your life, including um the recent murder they had inWitchaw. Uh it was right before I got out uh where the old lady got her headsaw off and so I was involved in that as well. That is that is a you don’t wantto miss that one. It’s called Grandma in the Garage in the book. You don’t want to miss that. That’s a crazy story.Damn, brother. Well, you got to you got to you got to hit us with one more of these stories. I know there’s plenty inthe book. Uh what kind of story? You give me a category. What about the uh the the uh Christianone I saw real quick? Which one? The Christian party. Oh, no. No. Howabout the the boy in the safe? Or either one? I don’t know. Let’s go with the safe though. The Christian party um is long and I don’tthat one that one is crazy. Definitely want to That one is crazy. Um the the safe the one the little boyin the safe. We I got called to Sam’s uh maybe I shouldn’t have said their name. I don’t care. Sam’s Sam’swarehouse. And uh little boy I think he was like one boy was like seven, the other one was like 10. And they wereplaying around, you know, while mom’s shopping. And they had one of those uh safes, the ones that’s probably as tallas you are, and not too wise, but they have them open.Oh, really? And the little boy, seven-year-old, got in it, and the 10-year-old slammed themin it and spun the the uh the the uh what do you call it? Thecombination lock. Yeah, classic big brother move. So for the next and they they couldn’tfind they couldn’t find the uh the code to get into that safe.You’re kidding. And when that when the kid was screaming, you could it sounded like he was a mile away.And so talk about and being a father, you could imagine I was ready to rip that door off, you know.Yeah. Um they called the fire department. They were thinking about using a torch, butthey were scared because they would cook them inside of it. Yeah. Um they weren’t sure what to do. Um itwould be an hour and a half before they got him out. Um he was not making any noise anymore.Um and they finally were able to get the code and open it up and he was he wasalive. No brain damage or anything? No, but he was rushed to the hospital. Ithink he was okay. But I think I think with that story, I just watch your kids better.Yeah. Oh my gosh. I did that must have that must have rippled around the country because I didnotice that anytime you go to Tractor Supply now, all the safes are closed and locked. Oh yeah, you talk about lawsuit. Mygosh. Holy crap. Dude, that’s a nightmare. That poor kid, too. I’m I’m a little I have a littletouch of claustrophobia that would that would I’d be talking to someone for years after that. What killed me waswhen we were like, “Are you okay?” And he was like, you know, you couldn’t even hear him. Itwas so thick inside of there. You could, you know, and you’re thinking air, your oxygen, and you’re like, “Okay, don’ttalk.” H damn it. Yeah, I’ve seen them um I’veseen them open a safe on a warrant and um they use the fire department used thejaws, I think. But I that would probably be too many uncertainties of likepopping that kind of metal with a person in there. That probably wasn’t an option because it could tear the kid apart.Shrapnel. Damn, brother. That is stressful. Yeah. And being a parent that that addsthe on top of that and any any any calls with kids isreally difficult. Yeah. Everybody says the same thing. Totally. I was just talking yesterday. I was at the station and um a retired firechief came in and we were we were chatting for like half an hour and uh the end of the conversation he was kind of talking about his war stories andstuff and he said uh the thing that always gets you and always will is the kids cuz yeah cuz they’re innocent.There’s a couple stories in the book about kids and they’re not so happy. Butyou know I think it’s important to share those stories because maybe people won’t make the same mistakes.Yeah. Yeah. And it’s a reality of police work that people should know. You know, you’re going to godefinitely kiss your kids every night. Yeah. Absolutely. And you know, it doesn’t matter how if you you work atPodunk PD or you work in a city, um if you work long enough, you’re going to be exposed to everything. And it’sYep. It’s pretty rough. It’s even so I work in a rural spot now and it’s like it’salmost harder because like you are so winded down that when you get the oh[ __ ] call it’s you’re not used to the response physiologically like when you work at a place when you’re going runcall to call it’s almost you get to a certain level and you’re kind of running in the in the yellow maybe in the orangewhen you’re in the green and then it hits it’s like you your system floorsyou’re like oh yeah this is the this is the response my body has. You know, I didn’t really have too many slow days.We I had I was on second shift and that was we we worked 10our shifts, 410s. Andso that was from 11:00 a.m. till 9:00 at night. So we had the probably thebusiest shift. It was non-stop. So that keeps you fresh, but you also keeps youon the edge all the time, too. And so hard to relax. Yeah, it is. They say it’s like runningyour It’s like running your body on nitrous oxide. You know, you’re you’re you might feel okay, but really whatyou’re doing is like cing out your heart valves and and everything else. Yeah.Rough. Dwayne, honor to have you, brother. Great stories. I’m so glad that you had me, man. Thisis great. I appreciate you. Absolutely. My pleasure. And we will put in the um in the show notes any linksyou want the people to be able to check you out. Those will be right in the show notes so they won’t have to go search for them. They can just click on thepodcast and they’ll be right there. Cool. I’ll put my I’ll give you my IMDb, too, so you can they can check that out.You could check me out on IMDb. Just go into IMDb and put Dwayne Michaels on there and you can see the shows, movies,and things that I’ve done. You should maybe change your name to Dwayne Michaels. Michaels.I had to say it, brother. I just saw that movie. Dwayne Michaels. I like it. I like it. I like Hell yeah. All right, man. Well,thank you. Uh, it was an honor and I’m going to do the show outro. Can you hang on for like two minutes? Sure thing.All right. Thank you to Dwayne Michaels. Great stories. Um, great to have you, brother.Um, this is a time in the show when I think that when I think when I thank the Patreon sponsors, Sergeant or above, youwill get a shout out on the show. These are the lieutenants, the great and powerful Andy Biggs, Kyle Roberts,everybody. Michael Roach from Roach Machines AI Solutions. Check him out. The great and powerful Thomas Connell.Now to the sergeants. Adam McMahon, Adam Mihall, Brad Thompson, Brett Lee, DanCarlson from Burley Boards. Check him out on Instagram. Sher Finch, Clark Lov,Dave Elman, Dennis Caris, Skillio, everybody. Doug and Kelly Newman. Love you guys. Hope you’re enjoying Wyoming.Dylan Mosher, Elliot Sykes, Gabriel Decknob, Gary Steiner, everybody. GeorgeKerotus, Greg Gadboy, Jackson Dalton from Blackbox Safety. Thank you, sir.Jason Lerie, Jason Laauo, John Jordan, John Shoemaker, John and Aaron Kate,love you guys here at church. Lauren Stimson, everybody, the handsome Lane Campbell, Lisa Gnau, Marcus Johansson,thank you, brother. Iceman from Motorcop Chronicles, check out his podcast. Nancy Hammond, Raymond, Arsenal, Richard Tols,Keep on Trucking, Brother Sasher McNab, thank you Sam Conway, everybody. ScottYoung, Sean Clifford, Seth Wright, Sheriff Ronald Long, thank you TammyWalsh, holding it down to dispatch. Thank you, Tommy, Tony Fehee, Zachary Pleet, and the Hansen and venerableGeorge Tessier. Those are the Patreon sponsors that are keeping the lights on, keeping the boat afloat over here. Itruly appreciate it. I love you guys and I will see you next week.